Musical Chairs

Las Vegas Nights

Lyrics By Matt

I'm sorry again.

I didn't mean to neglect you all for so long.

It's just....

It's just that sometimes I have no energy. I take that back.

It's just that I have been doing other things and haven't had time for this because it wasn't a PRIORITY.

The truth shall set you free.

I am just about done with my training for the week.

I am absolutely amazed at the capacity of some of the people I am training. They have all been with my company for various lengths of time, the longest being six months. I have been with the company for approximately 2 years. I knew more than they did in this department within 6 months. Chalk it up to my necessity to try to do the best job I can while I have a job, but I wanted to know more.

They are so quick to blame other people for their pitfalls. "Well, I didn't have enough training" Newsflash: 90% of Americans feel they haven't had enough training. Why do you think that a good majority of them go to church? email me at mrp422@gmail.com if you need help with that last one. "I asked my supervisor to give me direction," Wait wait. Don't even finish that one. I know how it ends. I ask your supervisor and they claim ignorance to the fact that you asked for help because they are too busy trying to figure out how to see out of their new glass stomach, right? "I didn't know that I had to ask for help" ...........existential silence........

I have only 2 more people to update. I am asking them what they feel that they need to have "refreshed" and I use that term loosely because not all of them are in this for a refresher. Some of them are in it to learn things for the first time.

On to other parts.

I went to see our beloved non major league affiliated hockey team play tonight.

They lost 2-3 to some team from Florida. Oh well. Work paid for the tickets. It was better than sitting at home trying to clear out my DVR from all of the movies and things that I have recorded over the last few weeks.

I miss my home. I want to eat a pizza from Country pizza. I want to go to the beach and see so much seaweed that I decide not to go swimming for another year. I want to go to a carshow on the beach. I want to go and visit the gravesites of my relatives that were not able to make it until now. I want to have the chance of bumping into someone I have known since their mother and my mother went to high school together.

Maybe I'll go back.

Some day.

Forgive me again for not being all that too political in this post. I have also not been paying much attention to the news lately. I've heard that it's a good thing.

Until the next we meet.

Much love.

The Truth Denied Part I

And So It Goes

Chapter 15

Something dawns on me today, around 12:00pm.

All that I believe about my fellow co-workers has come crashing down.

I have been under the now misguided illusion that all customer service representatives acted and performed about half as well as I did. I have the #2 customer satisfaction results and the #1 positive customer feedback in my call center. Editor's note: There are approximately 115 people that work with me in the call center. The positive feedback comes from the letters that customers that I have personally assisted write and send in to my direct supervisor. This is directly weighed against the amount of complaints that customers have placed against me. Current ratio (to my knowledge) is 50:1. 50 positive to 1 negative.

I found out that I was wrong.

It seems that I have been wrong a lot lately.

I was listening to so of my co-workers and realized that they all have a lot to learn. Note #2: People I am dating do not fall into this category. The reason that I am listening is because I am trying to become a trainer for the company that I work for and need to get the experience.

I don't say anything about the time it takes to get a customer off of the phone, even though the big shots would like that to be under 10 minutes for tech support. I don't even smash their abilities to use and navigate the billing system. My issue comes in with their ability to handle the customer. When all you have is your voice, no body language, no facial expressions, no "handshake," the only way for a person to identify with you is through your voice.

Now, I must note, without using many italicized inner thoughts, I am originally from the Northeastern part of the United States. In this very special part of the country, although I'm sure it's not the only one, people expect 3 things, even from the fast food industry. They want their product yesterday, they want excellent customer service, and they want you to do the above with a smile on your face. Failure to do the above combination usually results in some sort of a showdown between you and the customer, or, more preferably, between the customer and upper management.

While I was listening in on some of these calls today, the one thing that I think about is "How would I feel if I had this representative on the phone?"

My answers were almost always, "Ready for a showdown with upper management."

I was dismayed to find out that my co-workers don't know how to help a customer feel welcome. While I am on a call, I may not do everything that my company looks for, but the customer is ALWAYS grateful that I was the one who got the call. I make them feel welcomed and invited. I try to kill the silence while the billing system is catching up by making small talk and, in the event that I cannot fix their problem over the phone, I try to be as flexible with our scheduling as I can possibly be with four-hour appointment windows, advise them on what to expect when we get out there, and reassure them that I am not trying to "waste their time," even in the rare occurrence that this may be a repeat issue for them and the call will be their 2nd, 3rd, or 4th visit for a service issue in as many weeks.

I was also amazed at the fact that some of these people have been with our company for a while, in a department that generally has a high turnover rate, a while is longer than 6 months, and still have no clue that these are some of the things that you need to know about customer interaction.

There are 8 reps in all, and the four I listened to today didn't do much to ease either the customer's or my fear about dealing with the company tomorrow.

I hope it turns out better for tomorrow and that I am just overreacting. Maybe the reps were afraid because I was sitting right behind them. Maybe they were afraid because I am good at what I do, and as a peer, I can still relate to them without having the ability to do anything, but because I am close with the people in upper management.

I care not for the rationale of these four mal-employed customer service representatives. I wanted to take over on almost every single call, just to show them how a happy customer can be with them listening. They wanted me to take over because they don't really want to talk to the customers. It's just fucking horrible.

So with that comes the mature response to the reader.

While I have been in your shoes, "I am a customer too," from one of my previous posts, I apologize. Maybe I get the service reps talking when I call other businesses, because I want to have their attention and have them relax. I am sorry that I make it seem like the customer is the one causing the problem, but I must handle my calls differently from the the other reps. I may not have any stock in the company that I work for, but it is MY company. I share it with the people that I work with, and, up until today, I thought we were all working from the same playbook. Maybe it was the Buffalo Bills book from the Superbowl trips they made in the 90's.

I hate being proven wrong sometimes.

No rants about the government for today, but do us a favor, will you?

Go and check out this link for me.

This is a Republican proposal on its way through both houses right now and it is online due to the wonderful men and women of the ACLU.

http://www.aclu.org/pizza/

Thank You Teri!

Please have Flash player 7 installed and turn your speakers up a little.

It's kind of freaky.

We have reached the end of another entry.

I would like to thank you as always for joining me here. Please won't you be, my neighbor?

Much Love.

It's time to make amends.

This I Promise You

Verse 5

Sorry about the absence over the weekend. Had to "get away from it all" and so I went to Atlanta. As I clear my throat, I am about to make an apology.

I would like to apologize to those people who may have heard me say that Atlanta sucks. It still does, don't get me wrong, but it provided me with an excellent escape from my absent-minded trappings where I am. The city is badly planned, all of the streets have names, not numbers. For a New York City boy, one of the things that makes navigation of a city so easy is the knowledge that the even numbered streets go in one direction and the odd numbered ones go the opposite.

It was nice. I had a chance to go somewhere for a day and be in an area filled with so many people, I almost felt back at home.

On to the actual page development here.

So, I am going over what happened over the weekend, church shootings, crazy men being captured in Atlanta after killing courtrooms full of people, Robert Blake going to jail, that may not be official yet; but come on, one week of deliberations and still no verdict? Those who have the capital...and then it dawns on me: This would have been an excellent week for something bad to happen in the war on terror. After much reading, it would appear that nothing did. No huge flare up of a battle in Iraq, no incriminating naked torture photos from a prison, no cars exploding, no journalists being shot.

This is boring for us Progressives here.

What else are we supposed to say when a week goes by so silently?

Oh well, we can't win them all.

Maybe this week, we can figure out a way to leave Iraq.

No wait. Still have the wetard in control. george wetard bush.

Maybe I have missed something, I will look through the reports again. There may be a minor incident that Al-Jazeera picked up on that I missed, or maybe the BBC has something.

You should turn off Fox, CNN and MSNBC and turn on the foreign news agencies. There seems to be more of a "freedom of the press" in other countries as of late.

Sorry this one is short. I'm sure I will have more ammunition after tomorrow's day is done.

I am finally relaxed. I need to take more breaks like this. I'll just need to figure out how to fit them into my budget. Note to seniors: With all due respect, you are not the only ones that have a tight budget.

Thanks for noticing me.

Until the next we meet again.

Much love.

So, You Wanna Be A Rock Superstar??

Those Who Throw Stones

Part 2

Perhaps what we need is a little commentary on everyone's favorite "alleged" child molester, Michael.

After his television appearance which showed him walking into the courthouse dressed up in pajamas, his accuser testified, just as they have been for what seems like months now, that he gave them alcohol while they were spending time with him at his luxurious Neverland Hotel, Ranch, Amusement Park, and soon to be, New Home of the Santa Barbara Black-and-Whiters professional sports team.

While this doesn't surprise me, I would like to address this properly.

First and foremost, there is a war going on here. I wonder if people just like to be occupied by washed up famous people's legal trouble, rather than trying to think about life changing and world changing events like war.

Secondly, I can honestly say that I believe he is going to have done to him whatever it is that is determined by the court. I don't need the E! re-enactments to show me what has happened during todays proceedings. It boils down to, he did it or didn't. If he did, "Will he serve?", etc. The court will solve this, and I believe that the answer is that old chestnut, "Those without the capitol, get the punishment."

It is time to open our eyes. We have been forcing our way around the globe for quite some time.

Did you ever stop to think, why do some of the countries in the world hate the US?

This is a good place to start. And, it's on the Christian Science Monitor's website.

You have to take what you can get.

There are times when I wonder if we, as a country, will be able to undo this mess. Maybe the rest of the world is perfectly content with staying right where they are. Sometimes the best change comes from within your own country, not when foreign occupiers who are viewed as oppressors come in to force their ideology and possibly theology onto you. Is it not possible that we could have just let these countries work things out on their own? I know that they were held back, like they were in third grade, for all of the time that they were under Saddam, but maybe, I feel like I'm reaching here, just maybe, WE NEED TO FIX OUR OWN SHIT BEFORE WE TELL OTHER PEOPLE HOW TO DO IT?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I really don't think so. Let's work on getting the homeless off the street, let's work on getting jobs back in this country, let's work on letting everyone have the rights that we are trying to force onto the other countries. And, maybe for a little while, can we get out of a war? That may just help stimulate the economy.

I've only been alive for coming up on 23 years, so I may not know much, but I do know how to treat other people.

Funny anecdote:

When I was younger, and my little brother would slap me, I used to slap him back and not ask any questions. Now that I have matured slightly, when he hits me now, I use my voice to say, "Why did you do that?" before I launch a barrage of fists into his face.

Think about what happened on September 11th, 2001, and the events that followed.

Now re-read the funny anecdote above.

Spooky, isn't it?

Just some thoughts.

Thanks, as always for reading along.

Much Love.

Finally, The Rock Comes Back To....Where the Fuck Am I Again?

From the Bottom of the Astray

Parts 72 & 73

Written By Special Guest Writer

Phil McCracken

My one shot at stardom. Matt has graciously allowed me to blog in his absence. I guess all of his talk about going on vacation finally made him insane. Last I heard, he took his girl away to some secluded place, aka. Atlanta.

He left me to write because he knows I write some compelling stuff. He's a little rough on the language, but enough about him. Onto my stiff, er, stuff.

My topic of the day is going to be...How do I fill up this entry? I know...Gay marriage. Allow me to say, I am not opposed to marriage. I am not opposed to gay marriage either. My only issue is that I will never be married.

With the above being stated for the record, onto the real discussion. I have been wrestling with the idea of gay marriage for quite some time. (Note to reader: That just happens to be the most odd euphemism I have ever used, seeing as how many people define wrestling to be, in itself, gay, but, I digress.) I feel as though we should not be discussing gay marriage while we are still trying to stick our hand up the rear end of countless other countries; it has come to some bad light so I will give it the attention it so badly deserves.

If two people who love each other can't be recognized by the state that they live in as married, isn't that compromising the "sanctity of marriage" worse than denying them the right to be committed to one another through legal recourse? In many states, it is referred to as a common law marriage when two people live together for longer than seven years, Thank god I kicked out those roommates a few months ago, so in some way, I'm sure this may be one of those "loopholes" I hear so much about in American law.

Why not just legalize it?

There are many sides to this issue.

The religious people see it as forcing them to accept homosexual relationships as a part of human nature. Forbid they actually admit to respect the existence of something that has been along for longer than there has been organized religion, or that they actually practise what they preach.

The progressive thinkers see it as another way to make people feel more welcome. If they are allowed to marry, maybe we can turn this boat around, as I'm sure they see it. Gay marriage would mean thousands of votes for anyone who endorses it, yet no politician has decided that this is a good idea because they may lose that all important religious base. That is just a shame.

Ultimately, when there is a US constitutional amendment banning it (as there are already state constitutional amendments that do,) this will only strengthen the christian rights resolve. They smell the fear of people, people who are scared and going broke, and if there is anything worse than a shark smelling the blood of a child's scabbed knee in the ocean, it's a christian trying to extol his beliefs on an entire nation.

The pope says he loves and believes in god in every one of his speeches, yet no one listens or has listened much to the Vatican since that whole little inaction over this little thing called the Holocaust back in WWII.

Yet, when the American president says he loves and believes in god, everyone's ears perk up a bit, and they seem more attentive.

Maybe that's because he's talking about the christian god, not the Hindu god, or the Muslim god, or even the Jewish one, because we ultimately know what we're talking about here. Every single christian has, in fact, met god and knows exactly what he wants from each of them.

I've gotten too far away from the subject.

Gay marriage should be legalized, just for the simple fact that the constitution guarantees equal treatment for all persons born in the United States of America.

Period.

Finally, until the separation of church and state is dissolved and Christianity is officially recognized as THE LAW, christians, shouldn't you be more worried about how the whole catholic church molestation of children scandal pans out before you start your next crusade? Pull the leash on bush before he starts the crusades all over again. You really don't want your kids and grandkids fighting over god again, muslims attacking you in your churches, or people trying to learn how to keep more planes in the air, or did you miss that part in World History?

Expertly put. If you enjoyed his rants and ravings, shoot an e-mail to hellofahat@yahoo.com. Or look him up on Yahoo! He is a regular in some of the government and politics, usually one around 3pm our time, 9pm his.

Phil is a periodic friend of mine. We cross paths for a good cause when it is warranted. And fuckity fuck fuck. Because he managed to get away with that dissertation without a single swear. I'm impressed.

Many thanks to you, the reader.

Special Thanks to Phil, my extraterrestrial friend from overseas. "May the sun always be at your back."

Much love.

Here I Sit, Bound In Fear

It's Coming

Part 6

Just in case you haven't noticed, my dear republican counterparts, I will borrow a phrase from CarryABigSticker.com We are creating enemies faster than we can kill them. News reports announcing Hezbollah has amped up its efforts to recruit and the FBI believes Al-Quaeda ops are moving in from Mexico through loopholes in our national security, prove that maybe, just maybe, we can't just "Blow the fucking thing to kingdom come" all of the time. Maybe a little DEMOCRACY or DEMOCRATIC process can evolve where we may actually use our words, rather than our guns, will eventually develop, and we can truly be a world full of humans, not a world full of crackers, towel heads, gooks, monkeys and the like. Also, a little side note, if jesus taught all of his desciples about tolerance, love, and acceptance, why the fucking argument over the ten commandments displays and gay marriage.

One of the greatest things about this country, in my personal opinion obviously, as the Patriot Act squashes this is our freedom of speech. On the upside, it allows me to say the word fuck as many times as I want to on my own blog. On the downside, I have to listen to the opinions of the moral majority as well as those who think that the KKK was and is still a great idea. I love this principle, but some people don't realize that every American citizen has the right to his own opinion. It may be childish, retarded, fucked up, dumb, idiotic, over zealous, heathenistic, hedonistic, stupid, or the best thing you've ever heard, but it's too bad that respect wasn't added to that amendment. So many times am I in a chatroom on Yahoo! when I hear one person tell another that they are a fucking moron for their opinion. Just because your mommy or your daddy told you that you would never amount to a pile of shit when you stopped going to high school, or grandpa told you that you were a bag of used tampons when you dropped the ball at your little league game, DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TELL ANOTHER PERSON THAT THEY ARE STUPID FOR SOMETHING THEY SAY. That is one of the many reasons that we are hated around the world, because of our hypocrisy, or when spelled like I'm used to seeing it lately, our Hypochristy. This is just a word to those of you who think that the bill of rights protects you and only you. I am one of those people that would rather be forced to listen to hours of racial purity speech's than have to listen to an entire lifetime of excerpts from the bible, because that's our only state sponsored speech.

A big FUCK YOU to the moral majority. I am pissed off and I'm tired of being told that because I say and do certain things that I am going to hell. Fuck you. I will be too busy laughing at your hypocriticalness and enjoying the nice warm air with beer bottles with holes and women without.

Moving on some more, another big fuck you to the customers who buy computers and have no idea on how to do anything with them. We are an internet service provider, not a computer repair shop. Call 1-800-fixthisshit to hook up with a repair shop near you. You need it to work, but don't know how to turn on the monitor separate from the CPU. God damn.

Last but not least, allow me not to forget our illustrious leader, mr. bush. No, he's not getting the president title, maybe he qualifies for p. resident, which could stand for private resident, and he doesn't get any formatting either, because it's already a waste of my time to type his name without it. Thanks for showing the American people what hypocristy really is. When Clinton was in office, he was run through the mud for alledging that he even put his lips to a joint or for those less "in on today's lingo" a marijuana cigarette, he was damn near slapped for being human, and almost burned at the cross for allegedly screwing an intern. Thank you, mr. ass-rammer. It's truly an honor to have you in office, you coke-blowing, alcoholic, born-again fucker. I hope these next four years go by so quickly that we, the silent minority, may have the ability to undo all of the shit that you will put us in. Setting us back 40 or more years in the mental development of our country is a HUGE feat. Good luck with that shit.

In closing, it's been an interesting week. My little 3 day weekend looks so good, I just want to call out from work for the rest of the week. Unfortunately, my devotion to my job is too great, and I don't have that much sick time. But I do LOVE that sick time. Especially when I don't take it, and they only pay me half of what it's worth.

Until the next time we meet, fellow humans.

Much Love.

A new part of my job description.

I wasn't aware that office workers also had to be able to install ceiling tiles in the same office that they work in.

I spent the better part of this morning prepping ceiling tiles to be hung in the open spots of our area of my call center. Measure, cut, try to fit, cut some more, etc. ad nauseum.

Standing on top of all of those desks made me pretty happy though because for a few hours, I didn't have to talk to any customers. Now, please don't get me wrong, I am one of those people that believes that you should be 100% committed to your job, even if you are a jizz mopper in a 25-cent theater. If it weren't for my customers, I wouldn't have any money to afford all of the fancy accommodations that I have around myself. Sometimes I just need some time to not talk to them, as southerners pissed off about their cable can be spectacle unknown to any Northerner or New Yorker, for that matter.

I think the highlights of my day are getting to speak to those few people from up north, who can sympathize with me on all of the sad parts of this very sad part of Georgia. I will make it known, only because Georgia is a big state, that I do not live in Atlanta, so everywhere else in Georgia is small and slow. Atlanta even has its pitfalls, it tries to be New York, it tries to be Chicago, it even tries to be L.A., but it can't be any of these things, because the only people who understand anything that comes out of Atlanta are the people that are from the south.

On to something better.

I am an avid wrestling fan and am eagerly awaiting the best pay-per-view of the year, WrestleMania. I'd hate to pop the big bubble, but TNA is owned by WWE. Vince McMahon is a genius.

Looking ahead, I hope they ban the 10 commandments displays, although I have to admit, at the time of this log, they may have already decided to keep them in place. Oh well. Half the fun of being a part of the heathen minority is watching the feeding of the conservatives to the religious right. I would much rather be a part of a progressive-thinking group of people than know that I am forever blessed in some god's eyes.

Well, I am more and more starting to realize that this is more therapeutic for me than it is for anyone reading, so fuckity fuck fuck on that.

I have this weekend off and I get to spend some time with MY girl. That is probably the only thing that will keep me getting out of bed this week. I got paid Friday and it's all gone. I have just enough money to make it through the next few weeks. Anyone wishing to support me in my world conquest, please e-mail your proposed donations to mrp422@gmail.com for a mailing address.

Thanks for reading. Hopefully you have found something funny up there. Until tomorrow.

Much love.

Tell the cocksucker I'm looking for him...

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How's Your Day?

This is my favorite part. The intro post. If you were attracted by the lead-ins, now I have you by the balls.
I did this a while back, but another site kept deleting it on me, so, after a 3 year absence, here I go again.


Welcome to a Psychologist's Wet Dream.

A world filled with customers pissed off about their cable, bills, and lack of paying their cable bills on time.

A world filled with people who think that religion is the answer to everything.

A world filled with lemmings.

Some people are so accepting of their fate, it makes me sick. Whatever happened to the good days, when the teacher used to ask a question and you would answer with a question.

Oh well. So I haven't really been at the top of my game lately. I am busy trying to catch up with my life. No one tells you that after high school, time flies even when you aren't having fun. This sucks. I want the last five years back because I feel cheated. I wish that I could keep what I have learned, go to college, and come out a much better man for all of it. Dear god, has it really been 5 years?!?!?!

Well, now that you have heard the rambling, I believe a little introduction needs to be made public. My real name is Matt, (That is all you get, please don't ask for more. My name is one of the few that only exists once in the public records, so you'll need to see me in real life first.) I work for a cable television company that is very large, (for obvious reasons, I will not mention it by name, unless you have me in a closed forum,) in Georgia, (pronounced Joor-ja), birthplace of the Cable television industry because these god-fearing motherfuckers have nothing better to do with their time. I live in a house with 2 roommates and my mother's mixed breed dog. I like video games, sleep, and Italian food. I am starting to feel like this is a profile on Match.com. I am 22 years old and my birthday is on 22 April, so hopefully I will make it to 23. That makes me a Taurus, just in case you follow that stuff. I do when its in the stars for me to do. I own my vehicle, rent this laptop, and rent my house.

That's all for now. In posts to come, stay tuned for my musings on Jesus, fucking, dildos for X-mas, African women (not what you think, I hate everybody equally, and I mean one who is really from Africa,) computers, and any other thing sad enough to stray into the crosshairs.

I hope I did well enough. It's not an episode of Deadwood or Huff but I commit to making it interesting enough for you to come back as often as I have to. Extra: This doesn't cost $12.95 a month. Unlike HBO or Showtime.

Much Love.